Jerry Kuykendall grew up sick and obese, had GERD, depression, anxiety from elementary school.
His mother left at age 7, his father was an alcoholic, so he grew up rather unsupervised. Seen his mum twice since age 7, so has no idea if she is dead or alive.
Jerry got into drugs and alcohol and chose a career for money and security and was miserable. Jerry has turned his life around is now 5 years free of booze and is a CHEK Practitioner helping others turn their life around, just as he did. In this episode, Jerry explains exactly how he turned his life around.
In this episode, we discussed:
Jerry's background & challenges
Jerry's relationship with fitness
Love & Acceptance of Self
When Enough is Enough
Jerry's start with Exercise
Jerry Yo-Yo With Weight Gain & Loss
When Exercising More Is A Bad Thing
Seeking Acceptance & Love
Eating the Right Diet
Eating to Fulfil an Emotional Void
Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone
Text message from Your Soul
Jerry's Advice to Others
Jerry is offering a free consultation to find purpose and fulfilment and 15% discount on 3 month coaching or more. Email Jerry@biohackingtruth.com reference discount code 'Leigh15'.
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[00:00] Jerry: And I battled later on in life, I battled depression, arthritis, digestive issues, really, really just deep emotional turmoil, what I would call being extremely fractured and disintegrated. And really the root cause of that was my mother leaving when I was about seven years old. So to paint the picture, I was a stay at home child. My father was busy trying to take care of the household or support the household. And then one day, my mother I remember like it was yesterday, I'm seven years old, we're watching a Disney cartoon in my bed and just kind of laying there cuddling like we always did. And she just looked at me and said, I'm moving to California. And we lived in Idaho at the time, so being a young child, I didn't really understand the gravity of the situation. So I said, we're moving to California. And she said, no, I'm moving to California. And so I looked at her, confused, and said, why are you coming back? And she said, no, honey, I don't think so.
[04:47] : Welcome to the Radical Health Rebel podcast with your host, Leigh Brandon. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a five star rating and a warm review. Your opinions are important, and your ratings help grow the podcast and help educate people to lead a healthier, more productive, fulfilling, and happy life. If video is your thing, please check out the Radical Health Rebel YouTube channel, where you'll find Fun Bite sized clips from each episode. And now, here is Leigh, the radical health rebel with this week's podcast.
[05:28] Leigh: Jerry Kuykendall. Welcome to the Radical Health Rebel podcast. How are you doing?
[05:32] Jerry: I'm doing great, Leigh. Thanks for having me. I'm honoured to be here.
[05:36] Leigh: It's great that you can make it. So today's episode is entitled from obesity and sickness to role model of Fitness. So there are many people today in the world struggling with their health. They may be suffering from being overweight. They may be out of shape, depressed and anxious. Their relationships might not be bringing them any joy, and in fact, may even be causing them anxiety and sadness. And the reason I wanted to share Jerry's story with you today is because Jerry is a real life example of someone who could easily have just given up on life and could have decided to go down a very different road and blame it on the cards had been dealt. In life, many people go down that road of substance abuse to numb the pain, and their life just spirals out of control. So I really wanted to share Jerry's story with anyone who might be in the position that I just described and to know that there is always hope and there is always people there to help. So all is not lost. And I hope that Jerry's story will be an inspiration to anyone who needs to hear it right now. And of course, if you listen to this episode and think that someone who might be inspired by Jerry's story, then please be sure to pass it onto them. So, Jerry, if we could begin by sharing your story, your upbringing, the challenges that you faced and how it affected you growing up.
[07:00] Jerry: Yeah, absolutely. So I guess to provide an overview, I was the prototypical, what they would call fat kid in school. And back then, there wasn't a lot of them like we see now. And so what that meant to me was I was always left out of things on my own volition. I didn't want to participate in active things, anything that involved going to the lake, swimming, climbing the rope, and gym class. Whatnot? And I battled later on in life, I battled depression, arthritis, digestive issues, really just deep emotional turmoil. What I would call being extremely fractured and disintegrated. And really the root cause of that was my mother leaving when I was about seven years old. So to paint the picture, I was a stay at home child. My father was busy trying to take care of the household or support the household. And then one day my mother, I remember like it was yesterday, I'm seven years old, we're watching a Disney cartoon in my bed and just kind of laying there cuddling like we always did. And she just looked at me and said, I'm moving to California. And we lived in Idaho at the time, so being a young child, I didn't really understand the gravity of the situation. So I said, we're moving to California. And she said, no, I'm moving to California. And so I looked at her, confused, and said, why are you coming back? And she said, no, honey, I don't think so. And that was really the seed of what painted the landscape for my life. And so right then and there, I experienced trauma, experienced loss. And I quickly found that food and dogs were two things that never let me down. Adults let me down. Friends let me down. Teachers let me down. I thought that was just my perception, my illusion. And so throughout life, I just battled a lot of what people would consider adult diseases. So I had gastroesophageal reflux disorder, disease, probably about twelve years old. I remember on the nightstand, I'm sorry, on the sink in our bathroom, we had a little glass cup that always had a white film around it. And that white film was from baking soda. Because every night I would have to wake up in the middle of the night and drink baking soda water and so that was just kind of an indication of what was to come in the future decades. So that manifested as, you know, Leigh, when we have these minor symptoms that appear what we think are minor, they manifest and do bigger problems. And just like the adults that I had the great pleasure of working with today, they're experiencing those results in their thirty s. Forty s. Fifty s. Sixty s. I was experienced at preteen. So very quickly, I developed what I think is PTSD. High levels of anxiety, high levels of depression and acting out and just being very, very difficult to be around. That progressed into my adult life where food was no longer doing it anymore. So when I was probably mid 30s or so, I became really deep into alcohol. And I'll never forget being about 32, 33 years old, and I go to see a doctor, and I'm ready for an intervention, right? So I've had this back history of adult diseases as a child, lack of participation in life because of my own insecurities and not being very easy to be around, right? So this manifested into adulthood, and here I am, as you can imagine, this very unstable, insecure state of being. And so I go to the doctor, and this was my rock bottom Leigh. I was like, I need an intervention. So I went to the doctor. I was 100% honest with my questionnaire, having chest pains, I don't exercise. I'm five foot seven right now, about 150 pounds. at the time, I was about 215 pounds. So I go to the doctor, and the doctor doesn't say anything about my lack of activity, doesn't say anything about my weight, and really didn't mention anything about the chest pains or anything like that. So I walked out of that doctor's office with a prescription for SSRIs and blood pressure medication. And the SSRI was to address anxiety. And keep in mind, this wasn't a psych doctor. This was just a general practitioner. So right then and there, I found myself getting really in touch with my anger. I felt let down again, right? Not realizing that it's my responsibility. I felt let down by the doctor, just like I felt let down by dad, and I felt let down by mom. And so at that point, that was when all this started. That's when I realized, it's up to you. Now you can, as the saying goes, **** or get off the pot. And thankfully, it wasn't long after that I stumbled across people like yourself as influencers on social media. As bad as social media is. Like, it wasn't for social media, I wouldn't have found guys like you. I wouldn't have found people like Paul, like Matt Walden, Aubrey Marcus, just some of these great influencers that are just here to help people.
[12:48] Leigh: Let me just go back a step. So when you're a teenager, or even young adult in your twenty s yeah. What would you say? Was there anything that had life been different that perhaps you missed out on during that time?
[13:11] Jerry: Yes. Number one thing that comes to mind is just the thing that we all take for granted and just knowing that we're okay, we're safe. And it's very common, I think, adults nowadays to not feel that way, whether they know it or not, but children feel it too. And a lot of that stems from a lot of the adult issues stem from the childhood issues and so feeling of just safety, security and that things are going to be okay and that you're loved, that's probably the number one thing as far as having nice things, being able to take vacations. Yeah, we missed out on that. But that's probably the number one thing. The feeling of being loved and supported and safe and secure.
[13:51] Leigh: I guess not feeling safe and secure would have created the anxiety.
[13:59] Jerry: Yes, the anxiety. And for me it boiled down to not feeling like a that I was supported and safe and secure. But what is wrong with me? I was an only child. A little backstory on how I came to manifest in this earth. My parents, my mother was really small, she was like four foot eleven and she was told she shouldn't attempt to have kids because it could kill her. But they tried over and over again and my father said they had about 20 miscarriages before I was born. I didn't fact check that it could be hyperbole, but it was a lot and for some reason I made it. I made it full term. And a few years later my parents got pregnant again and my brother was born premature and he ended up passing away after a couple of weeks in the incubator. I thought, well, you really wanted a child and then you got one and then five or six years in you just up and vanished. So that's something to this day that comes up to me right now. It's more of an Ingram type thing and I feel like I'm in a really good place with it. I've got a really good relationship with it. I understand. I wouldn't be me, I wouldn't be so passionate, I wouldn't be so dedicated to delivering my services to the best of my ability had it not been for that. So yes, to answer your question, I missed out on a lot, but I think it was an investment for my future self, which I find myself in currently.
[15:34] Leigh: Yeah. So you've been through that hero's journey?
[15:37] Jerry: Yes, and I try to find new ones, keep going as we all do.
[15:43] Leigh: Right?
[15:44] Jerry: Yeah.
[15:44] Leigh: So one of the things that I often hear when I speak to people and let's say they weren't particularly active when they were young and then they'll come to me and then they'll start exercising and they'll say to me. Oh my God. I've been missing out on exercise all this time I thought I hated it. But now I absolutely love it and I can't live without it. Did you find that at some point?
[16:12] Jerry: Yes, sir. Yeah. So like a lot of people, my relationship with exercise became as a means to find a way to enhance myself image or how I felt about myself. And it's all good for that, but it was superficial for me, and what I didn't realize was it's deeper than that. And so what that resulted in was a lot of start and stop a relationship with fitness. So you go really good for a year or so, and then you would fall off. And it wasn't until I stumbled across the concept of holism, the concept of an integrated approach and realizing that when you're overexpressing your gym life, while you're overexpressing that, you're under expressing everything else that matters. And succinctly the one thing or 5100 things, whatever the case may be that you really need to get in touch with, that your soul is crying for, this is why this hurts so bad. This is why the gym is so appealing. This is why a new look or a new outlook or a new response from the world coming at you is so appealing to you. And that's the soul's message that I was able to get in touch with. Thank God. Thank the universe that that happened. And I don't know why it happened to me and doesn't happen for some, but I'm just going to take this gift and I'm not going to let it go away. I'm not going to let it be for not. So yeah, to answer your question, definitely got that relationship. And the more I understood about the integrated nature of ourselves and what really provides fulfilment, joy through a sense of purpose, it's a beast that feeds itself. It creates a positive feedback loop. You develop a new level of understanding, and then as you grow your comfort zone out, this becomes your new comfort zone. That's your new state of being. And then you push that envelope and it just keeps growing. And that's what a growth trajectory model looks like. And ever since then, it's just been this innate calling, this insatiable urge to just share this gift with as many people as I possibly can and succinctly just go back to that former version of myself and try to subconsciously try to save that person.
[18:27] Leigh: Yeah. We have to be careful about trying to save people too, though.
[18:32] Jerry: Yeah. Well, I mean, my former self.
[18:34] Leigh: Right, right. So what effects did the challenges of your upbringing have on you as a young adult?
[18:46] Jerry: A lot of anger. Anger was definitely my driving emotion, and I can sit here and talk about the things I missed out on or not being comfortable talking to girls or whatever the case may be. But really it's about creating this anger and this lack of understanding, which creates this extreme state of instability and being stuck in these different survival states, architecturally speaking, very much the victim victim child of Christian child archetype, your child prostitute archetype. You're farming out your love to get it back from other people, and you're not getting it back the way you'd like, and then it creates more resentment, and you try different strategies. So my behaviour was just really out of control. Really out of control. Got into drugs, got into alcohol, reckless behaviour and zero accountability for my actions. And that's the state of being that that created.
[19:45] Leigh: And was that because the anger led you down a path of the world owes me 100%.
[19:52] Jerry: I felt entitled to be this way because I've been dealt a bad hand in life. Not even my mother loves me. That was kind of my motto.
[20:01] Leigh: Yeah, but I guess the anger was your way of protecting yourself from the repeated trauma that you went through.
[20:11] Jerry: Yes, 100%. Exactly. There was always this wall that came up. That was my first instinct. If I were to just meet you, Leigh, back then, my first instinct would be to try to find out how you're a threat to me.
[20:28] Leigh: So it's the reptilian, reptilian brain being dominant. And, I mean, again, that's very understandable. If your very safety and security is being threatened, then that's how your brain is going to function. Right?
[20:44] Jerry: Yes. Flight or freeze. And I found myself choosing to fight way too often.
[20:51] Leigh: And obviously, it's very difficult to love when you're in a state of fear.
[20:57] Jerry: Yes, but that's a great point. That was so poignant in my development. And if we don't possess the love and acceptance of ourselves, how can we give it out to anybody else? And for me, it was like this dichotomy where you understand that, but you're like, man, my own mother doesn't even love me. Right. And once I got to snap out of that, realized that she had her own story, and whatever caused her to do that, she wasn't healthy, she wasn't integrated. And so the real way that's helpful for me to look at it is she had to be so hurt, so scared for her to do something like that. That goes against her instincts as a mother. That goes against her own logical brain. It's literally going against her soul. So I want to know, and I haven't spoken to her in 23 years. I've seen her twice since then. I was 35 years ago. I would just love to know what she was going through besides the obvious. Right. Losing a child, plenty of miscarriages. She's from Korea, so she's living thousands of miles away from her family. So if I were to really conceptualize it and frame it, that's where I'm at now. And I would just love to know what was going on with her.
[22:17] Leigh: That's understandable. I'm sure she was very dominant in the reptilian brain at the time.
[22:23] Jerry: Had to be. Yeah. That's a huge survival response. Right.
[22:28] Leigh: Yeah. It's just as well that you weren't born as a crocodile, because she probably would have eaten you.
[22:33] Jerry: That's right. How tragic that would have been. I wouldn't have had to battle alcoholism, though. I forgot to battle alcoholism.
[22:43] Leigh: But that just shows you what the reptilian brain is like, right? There's no empathy.
[22:48] Jerry: Yes, there's no empathy.
[22:52] Leigh: As you say, she was obviously going through her own challenges, and she obviously made what she thought was the best decision, at least for her anyway.
[23:01] Jerry: Yeah. And maybe on some level she thought it was best for me. That I don't know, for all I know, she was suicidal and thinking of hurting herself, and she didn't want me to go through that.
[23:13] Leigh: Yeah, absolutely. So I'm guessing that there was some point when you thought, okay, enough is enough. I need to change something here. What was that point?
[23:25] Jerry: Yeah, so that point was when I went to the doctor's visit, but there was actually a secondary point. So a lot of times we wake up and we think we know what we need, and a lot of times that's based on a delusion. Right. And to go through that process is actually a big step in our journey. And if we get stuck in that state of delusion, we just don't continue to grow. And that was definitely the case for me. So I meddled around for a couple of years doing the no pain, no gain mindset, blood, sweat, and tears. Leave it all in the gym, stumble out of the gym. I tried that. And of course, being posturally unsound, you can imagine that that was my upbringing. So you can imagine what was going on in my physical body, right. Yeah. Everything that was definitely everything that was part of my history was manifesting in my body. And here I'm doing this, as Paul would call them, *** kicker workouts. So I went through that phase for quite a while, and then when I stumbled across the holistic integrated principles, I started realizing, holy moly, this is it. But what got me there was actually a fishing trip that I was with my father. This is an annual fishing trip. I look forward to it every single year. It was literally my only time that I ever made for myself. One week a year to just create space for myself and spend time going inward, which I didn't even know that was a thing at the time, but that's what I was doing. And more to the point, like a moving meditation as I'm fly fishing, casting the fly. It's meditative, but I'll never forget it. I was sitting there watching my father fish, and this word suicide hit me like a ton of bricks. And it wasn't like an audible sound. It was just like a download. And I was like, whoa. Wow. And I'd never consciously, to my knowledge, ever had any self harm thoughts or anything like that. To this day, I couldn't imagine doing something like that, but instantly I was like, what was that? And then it came again. And this one for a period of a few minutes, right? We're just intermittently, almost like a flashing light. And then, so I even looked at I was like, am I having a premonition about my father? Is he contemplating something? So fast forward a couple several months later. I didn't really pay much, thought it went away and never came back. And I went into a meditation and I just contemplated what was that all about? And then I received a nice download that was just like you just had to kill the current version of yourself in order to be able to get to where you need to be. Because this cross fit stuff, this counting your macros and pounding proteins and all to get to a certain level of fitness so that you can be accepted and seen as someone who is strong, when really your whole deal right now is you just need to get in touch with why you feel so vulnerable. Why is everything a threat, right? So you're never going to take those threats away if you continue to perceive everything as a threat. So it doesn't matter how big and strong you get, you're not going to be strong enough to fight that off because you're creating this environment, this illusion that everything is out to get you and work against you. And then once you realize that, then you can start training for what your soul wants as opposed to what your ego wants. And I firmly believe they're both a very important component of us developing as a whole person. But I was a typical example of someone who was completely ego dominated, right? Ego and a survival mindset to protect myself from a threat that did not exist.
[27:04] : You're listening to the radical Health Rebel podcast.
[27:09] Leigh: Just a brief interruption to this podcast to talk about adult acne. Now, did you know that 40% to 54% of men and women older than 25 years will have some degree of facial acne? And that clinical facial acne persists into middle age in 12% of women and 3% of men? I know only too well the devastating effects that acne can have on your confidence and your self esteem and how it can easily destroy your social life, your career and your relationships. I know this only too well because I suffered from severe cystic acne from age 13 to 31 over an 18 year period. I visited my doctor on many occasions and his only suggestions were acne creams, harsh cleansers, and antibiotics that weren't working and were actually making my skin worse. After 18 years of struggle and thousands of pounds invested in treatments that didn't work, through my professional education, I began to learn that what my doctor had told me was untrue and that diet was directly related to acne, plus other factors such as food sensitivities, toxicity, hormones and balancing the body's microbiome, putting what I had learned into practice. I managed to rid myself of acne over 20 years ago and have been helping others to do the same for well over a decade by teaching people what foods cause acne, what food sensitivities each individual has, how to optimize their detox pathways, how to reduce environmental stresses and toxins, and how to balance hormones, especially those related to the mTOR pathway, a major causal factor with acne. I've been able to help many other adults overcome their acne nightmare too. So if you would like more information on how to overcome your adult acne, please go to www.skinwebinar.com. That's www.skinwebinar.com, where you can also request an Acne Breakthrough call with me to see if you are suitable for my Eliminate Adult Acne Coaching program, where you can once and for all learn how to overcome your adult acne. Now back to the podcast.
[29:26] Leigh: Yes. So at what point did you start exercising regularly?
[29:30] Jerry: I've been on an exercise routine since regular on and off since high school, but the last ten plus years have been very consistent. The last five plus have been consistent, where you're doing it for the right reason. So the whole picture we're talking, getting your mind and your perspective and your self attunement and self-relationship in order before you attempt to satisfy the ego's needs again, the diet, the sleep, the introspection, the self-deep work practice, and then from there, that fortifies the movement practice that creates this foundation, this base that you can prompt a real healthy movement practice on top of. And so I'd say for the last five or six years, I've been coming at the fitness game through that, and that's when the results started hitting. I'll never forget when I was doing that hardcore training, the high intense, really trying to push the kilo up, right, pushing the totals up. One of the big goals I had was a triple body weight deadlift, and I couldn't get it as strong as I got. I would put on more weight and then the triple body weight would go up, so I just couldn't get that marker. And then about three years of training this way, I was in there and I was just warming up. Actually, I was warming up to do some power cleans. And this part of my ego was just like, see what you got today, you feel good. So I just didn't even think about it, didn't prep for it. I got a proper warm up, but then I was like, put triple body weight on the bar and it just flew up. And I've done it a couple of times since then. And I really believe that that's a manifestation of everything being on the same page at the same time, working towards the same mission. And those are the types of things that we see people develop, and they develop these new states of athleticism and conditioning and. Fitness, and it's only through the funnel of taking care of all the other things that are important. So this fitness, this fitness lifestyle can play a role in your life that actually serves you instead of your tracks. And that's been my experience anyway.
[31:41] Leigh: So when you started regular exercise around high school, what motivated you to do it then?
[31:51] Jerry: Honestly, we had to because of football.
[31:53] Leigh: Okay, right.
[31:54] Jerry: But after that, when I started seeing a little bit of results, what really motivated me was that was when I first experienced any weight loss. So I dropped about £35 in between my junior and senior year. In that summer, I was hitting the gym, getting ready for football. Ironically, that was just out of Laziness. Because I was a lineman, believe it or not, that was five foot seven, like £200. And I was a lineman. And our linemen, because we went both ways, we had to be extremely conditioned. So we go through the entire team practice and then our lineman coach would have us run sprints back and forth, back and forth until somebody puked. When someone puked, we were done. And so I was like, I'm not going into that again. It's not like I had this fitness goal. So I was like, I'm going to be conditioned and ready for practice. So I did that. I lost some weight and I didn't really realize it. And I get back to school and everybody starts telling me, you look good, you look good, you look good. And that was my first introduction to being attracted to fitness. What I realize now is that was also the reason why I kept having these experiences where I would gain weight or I'd lose weight, gain it back, lose it, gain it back, because I would lose weight and then everybody tell me how great I looked. And after about a year of looking the same, people stop saying that. So I might have unintentionally sabotaged that, gained the weight back so that I could lose it and be told, you look great again.
[33:13] Leigh: Yeah, got you. So from the beginning, were you training as I would class it eyeballs out, so really intense right from day one.
[33:26] Jerry: Yes, that's really hardwired into my personality. So, yes, I started out with got into bodybuilding when I started doing my own stuff. And of course I'm watching Arnold Schwarzenegger videos, reading his books, and he's talking about, you get to the point where it burns so bad you're about to cry, and then do four more reps. And so that was kind of my mindset starting at about, I don't know, 1718. And it only lasted about 20 years. And after about 20 years.
[34:01] Leigh: I think we've all been there. I can remember in my twenty s, I probably started lifting weights regularly when I was 23, and I'd be in the gym for 2 hours. I mean, I'm in my mid fifties now, there's no way I could train at that level of intensity for 2 hours and I'd be sore seven days a week.
[34:25] Jerry: Yeah.
[34:26] Leigh: But I'd enjoy it. I'd feel great. It's like, well, I know I'm doing something. But what was a light bulb moment for me was doing my check training and you see that graph that shows how stress summates yeah, right. And how the more stress someone is under. I know that we don't mean mental stress, but we're talking physical stress, chemical stress, nutritional stress, thermal stress, et cetera. The less tolerance your body has for exercise and actually when you're in that state of stress, if you're stressing it even more with physical activity, you're actually doing your body more harm than good. So what was interesting when I started working in the fitness industry and looking back now in the used to think that my job was to train every single client that walked through that door within an inch of their life, a hair's breadth away from having to call an ambulance. And I was doing my job right. If I could get them to sweat blood or if I could get them to puke, then I was doing my job. And I was very good at doing that. I was very good at getting people to their limit. But what I didn't understand early on was that actually for a lot of those clients, I was probably doing them more hard than good. And when I look back, I would probably say 30% of my clients were getting really good results. Training like that probably weren't changing at all and 30% were probably getting worse. And I can remember one female client, really lovely person and she went from trainer to trainer to train her because she couldn't lose weight. So she ended up with me and I would train her. And obviously I was trained initially in the kind of standard pyramid table nutrition. Right.
[36:20] Jerry: Yeah.
[36:22] Leigh: And she would come in and she said, but I've put on weight and my response would be, okay, so I need to train you harder.
[36:29] Jerry: Yeah.
[36:30] Leigh: Right. And it become a vicious circle. But then years later when I look back, I'm like, well now I completely understand why she was on the wrong diet for her. But secondly, she was overtraining and it was causing her to be catabolic. Which is going to mean that she's going to increase body fat levels.
[36:47] Jerry: Yes.
[36:49] Leigh: So for me, that was a real AAR moment and made a dramatic change in the way that I looked at exercise, not just for my clients, but for myself as well. As I've got older, that's really paid dividends.
[37:03] Jerry: Yes. And it seems like much like you, I fell victim to that mindset as well. Right. And it's kind of prevalent in the fitness culture. You see it all day, every day. If you go into any fitness group, in a Facebook fitness group or something like that and people are talking about not being able to lose weight and everybody's like, just reduce your calories, reduce your calories, increase output. Yeah. What about thermodynamics is a thing, but you guys are only using like, a tiny part of it. What about regulating and down regulating? Your body does that, right? And why does it do that? It does it to protect itself. Your body doesn't want to just strip weight off of you if you're going through a survival state. That doesn't make any sense, right? If you didn't know where your next meal was coming from, you're out in the wild and you're getting beat up because you're running from wolves and climbing trees, because you're getting chased by animals all day. Your body is like, we need some of this energy. And so that's very prevalent. And that's why, in my opinion, the systems that really incorporate the whole person looking at you. So it's like, okay, you want to lose weight. That's awesome. Why is it important to you to lose weight? Right? Are you at an unhealthy level? Okay, cool. So your health is important to you. Awesome. So you thought you want to lose weight because of looks, but we got down to your health is important to you. Now why is your health important to you? Who's going to benefit when you're healthier? Who's going to suffer? Or who's going to be sad if your state of health really declines and just getting to that? And then you get buy in and you get dedication and commitment and accountability without having to parent your clients, without having to parent people. You treat them like the adult they are. You ask the questions that are difficult to ask and difficult to answer, but need to be asked and answered. And then you just show them love and guidance and treat them like an adult.
[39:01] Leigh: Yeah. And what you were describing there, by asking those questions, what you're really doing is you're uncovering someone's core values 100%.
[39:07] Jerry: Yeah.
[39:08] Leigh: And when you understand someone's core values, only then can you really be in a position to guide someone else. Because what is right for someone will be completely wrong for someone else. Because they have different core values. They might have the same goal, but if their core values are different, then you're going to have to go a completely different route to get there.
[39:27] Jerry: Yes, absolutely.
[39:29] Leigh: And quite often my experience is that most people don't know what their core values are, right. So until someone asks them questions, as you've just suggested, that's the only way they're going to uncover their core values because they've never really sat down and worked out what they are. Correct.
[39:48] Jerry: It seems to me that a lot of people's value system and belief system is things have been imparted on them from well meaning and loving people, but those values have been imparted on them by someone who isn't in touch with their own values and their own belief system. And it just becomes this, like, generational thing, and then you can throw society influence on there the influence of the media and what have you, and then it's not difficult to see how we've gotten in this state of just chronic I don't even want to say poor health, like chronic expedition of death. Right. It's like we're in a hurry to die not knowing it. And that's really if we were to look at the results of our actions, that's what's happening.
[40:32] Leigh: So if I was to ask 16 year old Jerry, why are you working out? How are you benefiting? How is your life going to improve? What would 16 year old Jerry have said?
[40:46] Jerry: I will lose some weight, and I will finally be able to go and talk to girls confidently, and people will stop just assuming that I don't want to participate in physical activity.
[40:58] Leigh: Something like that. So would the main reason be of losing weight? To be able to approach girls?
[41:06] Jerry: Oh, yeah. 16. Yeah.
[41:08] Leigh: Okay. Why do you want to approach girls?
[41:13] Jerry: Well, besides the obvious reason, I just wanted to be accepted. I wanted to be accepted. I wanted to be loved. And 16-year-old Jerry would have known that. But deep down, that's just what it was.
[41:24] Leigh: Right. Which is what we all want as well. Right. We all want that.
[41:28] Jerry: Yes, exactly. That never goes away.
[41:30] Leigh: Yeah. That's a basic human need. Right?
[41:35] Jerry: Yeah. So that was completely lacking, obviously.
[41:40] Leigh: Well, I guess to a degree, you hadn't necessarily been shown how to love. Right.
[41:46] Jerry: No, I was definitely surrounded and immersed in very much a sex and violent state of love. And I love my father. I always will, but we don't really have a relationship right now, and that's because I've got to a point in my life where I have boundaries, and I demand an explanation from him why he chose to do what he did, which was he chose to deal with the heartache of his loss by escaping and getting into intoxicants. That was his liberty. That was his choice. But taking that strategy in life wasn't very good for him. Right. Because here he is. He still hasn't faced his demons. And so for me, it was this just feeling of double abandonment and not really knowing what love was, because the love example that I had was sex and violence, which was dad would come home drunk and complain about his day and complain about not having money and how my mom did this and my mom did that. Right. And so long as I stood there and listened and didn't get upset or anything like that, periodically he would say, I love you, buddy. You're the only reason why I'm still around, and that type of stuff. And so that was very much a conditional love. I almost felt responsible for my father not taking his own life. Right. So that was the only example I really had. So not knowing that there were different states of love, that there was actually a way to love people if they weren't perfect or to accept them if they weren't perfect. I didn't know that. So here I was just thinking, I was totally unlovable. I'm far from perfect, so there's no way that anybody would want to accept me into their tribe or into their circle. That's kind of the delusion that I operated under for so many decades. So many years. Couple decades.
[43:34] Leigh: So when was the first time you did feel accepted?
[43:39] Jerry: Boy, I do remember a time that was very powerful, that probably matches the answer to that question. I just finished HLC one, and I was studying, preparing for HLC two, and part of that was getting into contemplative meditations, because I figured that was part of the path I needed to grow. And I was actually at the local gym. I was up in the yoga studio, and I was meditating, and I started experiencing like a very cathartic release. And I started getting tremors all over my body, and in particular right around the sacral stomach region and the sacred region in the solar plexus area. And I just started feeling a lot of heat and energy building up in there. And then my throat started to quiver, and then my face started to quiver, and I just started crying and just started bawling. And I got another one of those I just call them downloads, where it's not a voice, it's not words, but a thought hits you and it said, it's so nice to finally meet you. It was the download I got, and I lost it. I lost it, and then another download came. Just let it go, let it go. And I was at the time almost 40, grown man sitting in a yoga studio just bawling my eyes out. And really, I didn't care if anybody walked in, if anybody walked, I didn't care at that point. So that would probably be the first time I ever felt loved and accepted. And it was ironically, through my soul or God or the universe or wherever that came from. And I felt it, and it felt complete, it felt real. Can't explain it, but I haven't been the same since.
[45:23] Leigh: So what do you feel that you felt connected to?
[45:27] Jerry: I would say for a cliche term, probably my inner child. If you were to ask me how old I was at that point, when I started that breakdown, I was probably somewhere between seven to nine years old. And consequently I was right about the time my mother left. So I was literally just a child sitting there. I wasn't a grown man sitting there. I was really just in my child's state, and I was okay with it. And I was aware that that's what was going on, and I just went with it. I didn't fight it. For the first time in my life, I felt myself not resisting something, not fighting, not seeing a threat. And I'll never forget that.
[46:07] Leigh: I can imagine.
[46:08] Jerry: I don't know if I've ever shared that story.
[46:09] Leigh: Yeah, I imagine that was quite a release.
[46:15] Jerry: Huge. And ironically, I went back to that. I made a regular practice out of going in there and doing that meditation. It was nice. I got to pair my phone up with the audio of the entire room, and so I turn on some nice, like, Tibetan bowls or just some white noise or something and just get deep. And so I was chasing that. I didn't know it at the time, but I was really chasing that. I want it again. I want it again. Now, I've had a lot of cathartic moments, and I still do have catharsis, but nothing has ever compared to that experience yet. I'm sure there are some things that I'll be doing in the future that might, but nothing psychedelic journeys, mushroom journeys, all that great experiences, eye opening, enlightening, stripping the veil off, showing you right in your face. Right. But nothing is compared to that experience.
[47:10] Leigh: Yeah, I can imagine you feel lighter after that.
[47:14] Jerry: Yes. Which, ironically, at that time, I was having a hard time keeping weight off, like, set up five foot seven. And I always, even when I was what I thought fit, I'd carry about 175 to £185. I'd go in that range, boy, was within a matter of a year, my body set point got down to about £150, which is in the healthy range for someone with a little bit of muscle mass. And that's my new set point. I don't eat any less than I ever did. It's about the same. The quality, obviously, is a lot higher. But, yeah, you're right, because when we get obese, that's just a side effect of obesity. And the mental body, the emotional body, the spiritual body. Right. It's just it all just that's, in my opinion, the last place it manifests. I would love to hear your take on that, but in my opinion, it seems like that's kind of the last outpouring. It's like, okay, now, here it is in physical, you got to address it.
[48:11] Leigh: Yeah, I agree. I've mentioned on a previous podcast is a book called Dying to Be Me Anita MORGANI. Are you familiar with the book?
[48:25] Jerry: No, I'm not, but I love the title.
[48:27] Leigh: Yeah. So she was born into an Indian family, but she grew up in Hong Kong and all her friends were either Chinese or English. So she didn't fit in or she didn't feel like she fitted in. And to cut a very long story short, she ended up getting stage four cancer. And the doctors said, there's nothing more we can do. We've given you all the chemo and all the treatment possible. She was on a death bed and she saw the white light, so she went to the other side, so to speak. And basically what happened? Cut a very long story short, she came back into her body and there was no cancer at all. It gone right? Which just shows you how powerful the mental, emotional, spiritual bodies can be on the physical body.
[49:33] Jerry: Yes. There's a documentary on Netflix and blanking on the title. I apologize, but your story just made me think of it and I don't know if you're familiar with it, but this gentleman, I believe it was a kayaker or rafter, really like to find the biggest stuff in the world to go shoot down and same thing he got. I don't know if it was pancreatic cancer, but it was maybe lung cancer. It was a really high mortality rate cancer. And I'm trying not to butcher the narrative, but he decided the same thing. It was almost like just let go then. Let go of trying to control this and I'm just going to live life the way I want to live. And so that was like more traveling, more doing what he loves, more happy making pursuits and changed up the way he ate in his lifestyle. And same thing that he was given a really grim prognosis. There's nothing we can do. We'll try to slow it spread and try to prolong your life. And it went away. He's cancer free in remission. So there's something to be said about that.
Leigh: Absolutely. I've seen many a miracle happen in my own practice. I used to practice a form of energy medicine called body talk many years ago. And people would come in and I even had one guy came in one day and he wasn't sure that I was for real. He wasn't sure if I was some kind of charlatan. So he didn't tell me what was wrong with him. Now he didn't tell me this until afterwards. And I did some work on him and I can't remember exactly, but I think there was some physical stuff on his shoulder that came up and there might be some organ stuff and some emotional stuff maybe. And he got off the table and he just kind of looks really shocked. Now what I didn't tell you before I came in was I've had this severe ankle pain, or hill pain, I think it was for years. And he said, you didn't go anywhere near my ankle. He said, I've just got up. I can't feel any pain at all. He said, what did you just do to me? And I said, well, your body told me what to do. Your body told me what it needed. And he was then sold. He was like, okay, but now I know you're for real. Things like that can happen. Some people might say it's a placebo effect. I'd say, I need some more. Johnny's case definitely wasn't placebo because she passed to the other side and then came back. Yes, but even if it is placebo, I don't care if someone's got better, if someone's healed from whatever the problem was I don't care whether it's placebo or not.
[52:20] Jerry: Yeah, go ahead.
[52:24] Leigh: Yeah. And I was going to say that doesn't mean that everything that we do as check practitioners is all placebo, right? We know that there's a very physical side to what we do as well, and it's probably more detailed than almost any other profession from a physical point of view.
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Leigh: Yeah, but just on a from a very simple point. We've spoken about people being overweight and people talk about calories and reducing calories. If you don't eat the right diet, your hunger is going to increase.
[56:56] Jerry: Yes.
[56:56] Leigh: Right. So people talk about cutting calories. How about just eating what's right for you?
[57:02] Jerry: Yes.
[57:02] Leigh: Then you don't need to overeat. Or as long as you can relate to how full your tummy feels, you eat the right amount and then you'll stop. But if you're eating foods that say that you're eating a diet that's too high in carbs for you, what's going to happen? Your blood sugar is going to go up too high, your pancreas is going to secrete excess insulin, and before you know, you're going to be hungry again. Right. Now, that was me for the first 31 years of my life.
[57:31] Jerry: Same, right.
[57:33] Leigh: I used to eat about 6000 calories a day, but I was never big. Somehow I use those calories. But once I found metabolic typing, wow, what changed? That was to my life immediately I stopped overeating.
[57:54] Jerry: Unreal. Yeah, and that's another we mentioned the fitness culture earlier and how they're really missing some things and that's just it. It's like people have this program belief that if I'm on a weight cut, that means I have to suffer, right, or I'm going to be low energy. And as long as you are outside of a healthy body fat range, it's been my experience and observation that you will be more energized in a calorie deficit than you are in a calorie surplus with the foods you're choosing to eat. Why? Well, because you're eating for the size of a person that you could be, or should be, or will be. Right. So in other words, if you weigh £250 and your ideal body weight high end range is £190 well, if you eat like 190 pound man, but you're eating to your diet type, right? You're eating the macros and appropriate ratios. You're sourcing them from high quality foods, then really the person you need to feed is that 190 pound person. And if you're going to eat that way, because that's what you're going to call for now, granted, you've got to get rid of a lot of things, a lot of habits and maybe detox and whatnot before that sets in, but once it does, that's what you'll see. And then so you're energizing that £190 of you that needs the energy, and the rest is just going to go away. It's just going to fall off. And that's been my experience in observation. And once people attach buy into that and then they apply it, then they start to understand weight loss is really maybe the simplest part of this whole thing, right. Once we get that established, from my.
[59:33] Leigh: Experience, I don't actually have many clients these days for weight loss. When I first started out, I had them all the time, but more recently, I don't tend to attract those type of clients. But when I have done. In a lot of cases. What it almost always tends to be is someone is let's call it overeating. In order to create some kind of either they're filling an emotional void with a physical reward. Let's call it so they've got an emotional void. But instead of dealing with the emotional void. They fill that void with food. Which doesn't solve the emotional problem.
[01:00:24] Jerry: Right.
[01:00:24] Leigh: But it makes them feel better in the short term. Right? So let's say they're depressed or they feel lonely or whatever it might be, a nice chocolate cake will make them feel a bit better in the short term, but a little bit deeper than that. Some people might subconsciously want to be big because they feel more protected that way, right?
[01:00:46] Jerry: Yes.
[01:00:47] Leigh: So they're putting on an armour to cover themselves. So one example might be if someone was sexually abused as a child, if they overeat as an adult at a subconscious level, they're saying, well, no one's going to find me attractive, so I'm not going to be abused by anyone.
[01:01:06] Jerry: Yeah.
[01:01:07] Leigh: So they can keep going to weight washers all they want, right?
[01:01:11] Jerry: Yes.
[01:01:12] Leigh: And unless they deal with the emotional challenge that they have, no matter what they do to their diet, it's not going to work. They're never going to stick to it because they're going to continually self-sabotage because their ego is saying, but you need to protect me.
[01:01:28] Jerry: Yeah.
[01:01:29] Leigh: From the boat, right?
[01:01:31] Jerry: Yes. Go ahead.
[01:01:34] Leigh: Yeah. So I was going to say, in the training that we've done in the Check Institute, we don't leave anything out. We look at the physical, we look at the mental, we look at the emotional, we look at the spiritual. So we're looking at the whole person and say, okay, so what's the root cause.
[01:01:50] Jerry: Yes, absolutely. I would like to encourage anybody who doesn't really understand how guys like us talk and how we present ourselves, like how that ties into well, how's that going to make me look better and address. And I had a conversation last week with a client, and it was a very similar situation where it was hard to conceptualize how she understood how it all tied in. But why is it important? I said to her, and she's a particular personality that doesn't really like to go and get in touch with her feelings. Right? She likes to get in touch with her thoughts, but when that gets too much, she likes to just do in simple terms, she overexpresses her doing. Under expresses her being right. So I'm like, well, whatever caused this way to come on and we know what it is. So that's her thing. So this thing that happened, this is tough. It's painful to go into. And so can you understand how when you don't want to go there, you just got to find something to do? And so you overexpress your doing. Well, a big part of your doing is eating, and so you just go to that place. So every time that you want to go do something or you find yourself being listless, it's just a message from your soul that, hey, you need to look here and you don't want to listen to it. So, like, your path to growth, your path to integration requires you to, when you feel that need to do something, just got to do something, that's a signal from your soul, like an email or text message from your soul, and you need to open and reply. That's it. It doesn't mean you need to figure it out today. It doesn't mean you need to make it all better or anything, but just open the message and reply to it and then carry on.
[01:03:36] Leigh: Yes, I like that, because, of course, doing that is quite scary for a lot of people. The word that I tend to use quite a lot and I used a lot quick in the previous podcast, is brave. Sometimes you've got to be brave. You've got to go out. My experience of life is that to achieve anything great, you've got to go outside your comfort zone.
[01:04:04] Jerry: Yeah.
[01:04:05] Leigh: If you stay in your comfort zone, the old saying, if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got.
[01:04:11] Jerry: Yeah.
[01:04:12] Leigh: So if you're happy where you are, great. But if you're not happy, the chances are you're probably going to have to go out of your comfort zone to achieve something great.
[01:04:20] Jerry: Yes.
[01:04:20] Leigh: And if someone once said to me, if the goal isn't scary, it's not big enough.
[01:04:27] Jerry: Yes, absolutely. I love it. I love it. Simple, but **** it's poignant. Yeah.
[01:04:32] Leigh: Yeah. And you know the saying by Jerry West, right?
[01:04:36] Jerry: Not sure if I do.
[01:04:37] Leigh: If you have a big enough dream, you don't need a crisis.
[01:04:42] Jerry: And what is more scary than a crisis? Motivator right. That is fear. That's the doctor saying, hey, you're going to die in five years if you don't change something when you have no idea what to change. Yeah. That growth dynamic is so powerful. And a good way I like to explain that is just like. This is your growth zone. And if you only operate within the parameters of that and you're free to just tiptoe out of it. Well. Eventually something within your comfort zone is going to frighten you now that it didn't before. You're going to have a bad experience. And you're going to think. That means not for me. Well, then your comfort zone shrinks, and you see this pattern where you only operate within that comfort zone as opposed to tiptoeing out of it and allowing it to grow. You got to stretch something to make it grow. That's how your comfort zone shrinks in life. And we all know people that have gotten to that point, they sit in a rocking chair and they tell everybody, don't do that, don't do that, don't say this, don't trust them. Yeah, that's just going to screw you up. The market is going to screw you over. Those health experts, they don't know anything about anything. My grandma smoked cigarettes for 65 years, and she lived to be 98. Those people, their comfort zone is shrunken so much, and then they want to share that with people. And so it's just my hope that as many people as we can impact and just open them up to that perspective and just shine a light on it, illuminate that shadow right, and just say, hey, this is the way I see it.
[01:06:12] Leigh: Excellent. So my next question for you is what have been the greatest lessons for you, looking back at your upbringing and how you overcame those challenges?
[01:06:28] Jerry: Boy well, the first lesson, I would say, was that I learned that we have a propensity to tell ourselves stories about events. And whether we know it or not, it's in an effort to protect us. We want to protect ourselves from being exposed, being vulnerable, being hurt, whatever the case may be. And so for me, a big story I told myself was, I'm a can't doer. I can't do that. I can't do that. I'm weak. And so I tried to disprove that by overexpressing strength. So that would probably be the number one lesson. And number two, everything that happens, happens for you, whether you realize it or not. And if you have a tendency to label things as good or bad right away, or if you have a tendency to say, this happened to me, or so and so said this to me, and if you don't like the way that your body reacts to that stimulus, again, that's an email or a text message from your soul, open it and reply. Open it in reply. And so it took me almost 40 years to understand that that is a really good tool to utilize in your personal growth. But once I did, the third lesson I realized was not everything is fixable, at least immediately. And there's a huge difference between healing and eliminating. So if you have self-doubt or you have insecurity or you have a tendency to feel weak or vulnerable or powerless, just realize that that might be something that always treats up for you. But if you form a relationship for it, that's also your superpower. So if you have a powerless driver or weakness driver, vulnerability driver, just realize that that is so strong to you for a reason. And you might be the perfect person to advocate for other people or to lead other people or to find your own strength through trial and tribulation and through the fire. And then you can recognize when someone else is going through those same things. So what you feel is your biggest Achilles heel. That is where your superpower quite possibly lies.
[01:08:43] Leigh: Yeah, I like that. And what advice would you give to anyone who's in the situation that you found yourself in as a young adult?
[01:08:55] Jerry: Yeah. First piece of advice would be, you know more than you realize, trust your intuition more than you have, and realize that someone out there really cares to help you. And whether you find them or not right away, don't stop searching for that guidance, that mentorship, right? That loving support, and then secondary. No matter what you stumble across, as far as an answer or non answer, it is up to you to put it in play. It is up to you to take notes on the results of your habits and behaviours and to really assess if that's part of my big term vision is this keeping me in alignment. So it's your opportunity to find the guidance, support, and the right answers, but it's also your obligation to put the work in and to keep track of the results and to make adjustments as necessary. So it's a three part system. You need the guidance. Right. You need to put the self work, and then you need to reflect and replan.
[01:10:00] Leigh: Yeah.
[01:10:00] Jerry: So it's like the creation model, right? There's birth, there's growth, there's regression, there's death and rebirth.
[01:10:06] Leigh: Yeah. And the circle continues.
[01:10:08] Jerry: Yeah.
[01:10:11] Leigh: So what's next for Jerry?
[01:10:14] Jerry: What's next for me is just keep on growing. For one, I'm sure you are as well, but I am just a nerd for learning and continued development. I'm the type of guy that will enroll in a class and I will just enrol it to learn it. And I could apply it to my practice, but I might not. I don't do that with any of the check stuff, but any of the side stuff. But really just continue to figure out how to impact more people, impact the most people I possibly can. And I will not water it down. You might have to make it a little bit different than the personalized one on one model, but you're not going to water down what you offer. You're not going to try to pretend like this is the complete answer for you. All you got to do is click on this link. So impact as many people as I possibly can, but just be an invaluable resource. Not just for people that might want to work with me, but people that want to work with people that are needing this type of philosophy to find their true purpose and their true level of fulfillment in life. So I guess the big picture answer to that, Leigh, is just impact as many people as I possibly can and whatever the next opportunity is to do that, whether it be on a podcast with an amazing individual like yourself, whether that be starting up a blog or whatever the case may be, that's what I'm going to do. And so I just started a substack blog. It's. Coach Jerry's Sovereign. Mind, body and soul. If anybody wants to check it out. I've only got one published article I just started this week. But there'll be more. There'll be more. So, yeah, that was next for me.
[01:11:49] Leigh: Awesome. So you've kindly offered to give the Radical Health Rebel listeners and viewers a 15% discount off your coaching services?
[01:11:58] Jerry: Yes, sir.
[01:11:59] Leigh: What would they need to do to claim that?
[01:12:02] Jerry: All they need to do is just email me, Jerry@biohackingtruth.com or Coachjerryhlc@gmail.com, either one of those will work. You can find me on Facebook, Instagram, Jerry Kuykendall, just like the screen says, and you can reach out to me on messenger there, but you can just literally just say, Leave 15. Just send an email, leave 15 and I'll get back to you. If you're busy, don't got a lot of time to go back and forth. Just say, Leigh15 and we'll schedule something and we'll just schedule a call to see what you got going on and see if we're a fit. Just by sending that to me, I just commit you to anything that's just us getting introduced.
[01:12:40] Leigh: And whereabouts are you based, Jerry?
[01:12:42] Jerry: I am in Missouri, Montana.
[01:12:44] Leigh: Okay.
[01:12:45] Jerry: Yeah. And I would say about 75% of my work is done in person. About 25% remote.
[01:12:50] Leigh: Okay, cool. Awesome. Jerry, I just want to really thank you for your time. I think you are a real inspiration for people that are going through what you've been through. It's always good for someone to be able to look up to someone who's been through what they're going through at the moment and to see that there is hope, there is a way, and there's also people that can help as well. I think that's really, really important.
[01:13:21] Jerry: Yes. There's someone who's been through what you're going through.
[01:13:24] Leigh: Absolutely. And also has the technical knowledge to help at the same time as well, correct?
[01:13:31] Jerry: Yes.
[01:13:32] Leigh: Because otherwise you've got, as Paul jack would say, misery loves company. You've got two people holding hands that are just going to moan about their problems, right?
[01:13:39] Jerry: Yeah.
[01:13:41] Leigh: When you've had the training that you've had, not only have you been through it, but now you can walk the talk as well. Yes. You can show the results that you've been through it and you've come out the other end.
[01:13:54] Jerry: Yeah. And consequently, like the lion's share of the clients I've been working with, particularly in the past year, you mentioned what you attract earlier. And that's exactly what I'm attracting. I'm attracting all the people that have exactly what I had going on, and because they got so much going on, they didn't know, what specialist do I see? Right? What specialist do I see? And it's like, that's a good point.
[01:14:18] Leigh: Cool. So, to all the listeners and viewers, if you know of anyone who would benefit from hearing this episode, please do forward it on to them. The whole purpose of this podcast is to help people, so feel free to share the love. That's all from us this week. But don't forget, you can join me same time, same place next week on the Radical Health Rebel podcast.
[01:14:45] : Thanks for tuning in to the Radical Health Rebel podcast with Leigh Brandon. You can find Leigh at www.bodychek.co.uk. Please hit the like button and share on your social media and with someone you feel will benefit from watching this episode. So together, we can help them lead a healthier, more productive, fulfilling and happy life.